I am here to help you.
There are important questions that you may have about your relationship and yourself that relates to COVID-19, and some that have been in your life since before this crisis.
- How can I make sure that the stressors of sheltering in place with my partner don’t overwhelm our relationship? The-old adages that distance makes the heart grow fonder and the-opposite, that too much closeness can be stressful by itself, strike us full on when we have to stay home so much of the time.
- What can we do about the stresses?
- What can we learn about ourselves under this condition?
- Am I tolerant enough?
- Does my partner respond to me in ways that irritate me more now than before, or am I discovering a new breadth of his or her functioning that I didn’t know was there? If it’s the latter, the question, ‘How can I enhance this?’ is important.
- Do we help each other to deal with family and couple problems or does their presence in our lives bring out selfishness and storytelling about our partner, such as ‘She just doesn’t understand what I’m going through.’ or ‘He has always been insensitive and never makes room for my needs.’ Be careful about these absolutes, ‘always’ and ‘never’ as they pigeon hole our partners. Then we tend to relate to them through the stories we tell ourselves about them.
There are no easy answers to this worldwide dilemma, but there are activities in which we can engage, and we can acquire attitudes about life that can distract us from the anxiety and depression that are often the products of the crisis.
Self-care is making a space inside yourself to hold and see the feelings that you are carrying.
If you have experiences with coping with stress, don’t judge them or demand that they leave quickly. Don’t be impatient with yourself because you are in distress.
If distress is not part of your inner landscape, then you are not a sentient human being. Invest in maintaining connections to keep your social world vital and alive.
We interact with others while wearing masks and maintaining social distance. The ordinary skin connections of hugging, touching, shaking or holding hands is limited by the threat of contracting the virus. We walk through supermarkets and for the most part avoid the ordinary interactions that can make life sweet and pleasant. We see people going through the aisles with a sense of fear. We wash our clothes after an outing to the store. We become fastidious about cleanliness. We are all carrying fear, and perhaps the worst of it is the sense of uncertainty about our lives going forward.
It’s my goal to create a comfortable environment, where we’ll work to achieve your goals together. Here is where I can help you deal with your couple and family interactions beyond reading my recommendations.
My professional career spans more than 35 years, and in that time I have helped myriad people achieve more satisfying lives. When you consult me for psychotherapeutic help, I will devote myself to careful and caring listening to your distress. Sometimes just having a caring and sensitive listener is all we need to validate what we are going through. Beyond listening, I can, with your help, design strategies for behavior change that provide a roadmap to health going forward, and above all, provide hope.
Please contact me to schedule a free initial consultation.
914-391-0094 | Send Email | Teletherapy Available
I look forward to helping you make the first step toward your well being.